Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
