This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
