Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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