I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
