just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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