Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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