Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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