I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
