There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
