Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
