Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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