just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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