sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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