I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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