But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
