I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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