she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
