does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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