tell your sister to shave her snatch
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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