i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize