32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
