Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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