Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
