If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
