it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
