drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
