I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
