the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
