You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
