There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm bleeding and have questions
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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