she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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