brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
