Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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