stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize