Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
