so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize