It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
