lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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