I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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