did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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