i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
