Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You've changed since you got that strap on
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
