i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I got inside last night via doggy door
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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