she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
