So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
