So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
ok first of all what the fuck
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
