dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
