i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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