i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
