Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
