Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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