i can't believe i had my finger in that
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
