so explain again why im purple
no
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
