what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize