The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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