It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
