Need sex. Gaining weight.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
