we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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