Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
