For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
