we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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