Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
