Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
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he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
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The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.