The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.