is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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