Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
