Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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