Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
