just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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