He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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