she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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