I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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