This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
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we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
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I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
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