well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
