He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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